Yesterday was Seth and my 4th wedding anniversary! It has gone by so fast. Marriage has been so wonderful and I feel lucky to have had these years together. 4 years marks the end of the newlywed stage. So I thought about marriage advice. I thought about what I might say to someone who is recently or about to get married.
We’ve been together for 7 years and now married for 4. We have lived in 6 different places in 2 states. Driven coast to coast together. Both finished graduate school. Experienced two layoffs. Traveled with a toddler multiple times. And now are getting ready to grow our family by one more. We have had so many great experiences together.
Reflecting on those experiences helped me to come up with the following advice:
Have as much fun as possible together
Seth and I have a lot of fun together. We love to travel, do Spartan races together, try new foods, go to the movies, and just generally enjoy each other’s company. One of the best parts of marriage for me is having someone who is my favorite person to do life with. We genuinely love spending time together.
It can be tough to carve out moments to do fun things together when your time is limited due to work, family and other priorities. So try to remember to take some time to do something fun with your significant other. Find small pockets during the day when you can share a fun moment.
Be clear on what marriage means to you
Seth and I were very clear in our definition of marriage before we got married. This was the foundation for our commitment to each other. We both knew what we were committing to and what values were important.
Take some time to think about what marriage means to you personally. Then share that with your partner and come to an agreement on what marriage means to you both as a couple. Try not to compare your definition of commitment to anyone else’s. This is something that is unique to each couple.
Be open to talk about anything
Communication is important because it allows us to stay on the same page and work through things together. Not every topic is easy to discuss but is important that we are both open to talking. Without that, some things go unsaid and go unaddressed. This can create a burden or put up a wall between two people.
Over the years, we have worked to learn how to communicate effectively with each other. I find that communication is a skill that can always be improved. We work continually on developing that skill.
Be yourself
Bring your authentic self into your relationship every day. Maybe this seems kind of like an obvious thing to do, but I think it is easy to try to show your best self to the person you want to impress the most — your spouse. Or you might feel like you are supposed to act in a certain way now that you are married.
However, be yourself. Being anything other than your authentic self can be tiring and puts a barrier between your partner getting to truly know you. My favorite thing about my relationship with Seth is that he loves me for me. That couldn’t happen if I didn’t show him who I am.
Marriage can be hard work at times, but it can also be extremely fulfilling. I feel so grateful to have a partner who is supportive, dedicated to our family and makes me so excited for the future. If you are about to get married, or a newlywed, remember to have fun and continue to work at the relationship.
Thanks for reading about my take on marriage advice. I’m curious to know, what is your best marriage advice?
All photos by the talented Photos by {Hugs and Kisses}
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